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Over the next four days not only would they read these letters to the other six men, but would write a letter to themselves as if it were written from their mate. In addition to all of this "illumination" was the gathering of men who listened for the "thinking errors" that had supported their defensiveness, as well as, the encouragement and support to continue the hard work.

Many times, these guys were confronted firmly with rationalizations, justifications and confused thinking. Each man, in turn, faced the parts of their character that had justified being defensive, shifted blame, and caused chaos.

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While there were many moments of utter shame and remorse, two phone calls from victims set a heavy tone for the day. There was no place to hide as we listened to the episodes of abuse from the voices of the victims. There was no getting even, no playing the victim, no justifying harm. Each man cried deep, remorseful tears. As the Apostle Paul says, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret" 2 Corinthians Each man repented, took responsibility, and made a plan to eliminate troubled thinking from his life. Each man submitted to the Spirit of God and asked for a changed heart.

What lies ahead for these men and their marriages? Will the narcissistic and emotional abuse stop? Will their accountability program really work? I'm not sure. Each man will have to continue working the program that started here.

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Each one will have to submit to the Spirit of God on a daily basis. Change is hard work. Change requires making a difficult decision and changing one's thinking and patterns of living. Change requires accountability to fully examine one's life and put a clear plan of action into place. Recognize the incredible damage done.

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Change can only occur when we have faced the impact of our behavior. Change can only continue as you maintain a solid accountability plan. Transparency, accountability, and vulnerability are the only ways change can be maintained. Sin occurs in the darkness while freedom becomes possible in the light. Narcissism: Surviving the Self-Involved.

THE SPIRITUAL NARCISSIST ( Understanding How People Abuse Spiritual Authority)

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Disarming the Narcissist. Wendy T. Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life. Linda Martinez-Lewi. Character Disturbance. George K. Zari Ballard. Web of Lies: My Life with a Narcissist. Sarah Tate. Donna Andersen. The Narcissist Test: How to spot outsized egos Dr Craig Malkin. Albert Bernstein. The Narcissist Next Door.

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